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Marrying Young

 

No doubt this topic is touchy. The view of a young girl marrying to some ‘big ole oily grey back man’ is seen as carnal abuse, rape, violation of human rights, child rights, and the list goes on. So let’s dig a little deeper. According to Wikipedia, there is some form of justification of such an arrangement which might help you the reader to better understand or simply get you more upset:

Child marriage and child betrothal customs occur in various times and places, whereby children are given in matrimony – before marriageable age as defined by the commentator and often before puberty. Today such customs are fairly widespread in parts of Africa, Asia, Oceania and South America: in former times it occurred also in Europe. It is frequently associated with arranged marriage. In some cases only one marriage-partner is a child, usually the female, due to importance placed upon female virginity, the inability of women to work for money and to women’s shorter reproductive life period relative to men’s.

Yes, unfortunately that ‘ole’ perve can still reproduce. Great. Well this explains why a lot of women freak out when they reach the thirty year mark and are viewed as old. Also, may I just add that it is getting harder and harder to find a sixteen year old virgin these days. Okay, before you attack me for agreeing with these customs let’s take a look at the things we celebrate: Sweet Sixteen, once upon a time it marked a young girl’s coming of age and used to advertise that the daughter was ready to be married (uh huh now you know); in latin american countries they celebrate Quinceañera (their version of sweet sixteen but at the age of fifteen); in Jewish culture a boy comes of age at thirteen (Bar Mitzvah) and girls come of age at twelve (Bat Mitzvah); in Italy and Poland they celebrate the eighteenth birthday. Although . We can agree that not even at 18 years no one is ready for marriage, worse at 12 and 13. What about children being married off as young as 5 or before they were born? I read an article featured in the June 2011 National Geographic called The Secret World of Child Brides (page 78). It featured traditional customs – some illegal but still practised in secret – in India (yup you gonna stop hating me now). Now this is where I draw the line because these poor babies have no clue when the ceremonies are being performed and they grow up hating their ‘oily grey back’ husbands and are miserable.

Thanks to a changing world these practises are being eliminated. That’s good for the children, they can enjoy their childhood, get an education and make their own choices but what happens when you wait too long? There are some women who have been successful in their careers, accomplished all they could without the burden of maintaining a family and answering to a husband, realised in their 40’s they want to get married and have children. What now? As the above excerpt said, a woman’s reproductive life is shorter than that of a man. Besides who wants to marry an old woman? I’m not crude but that is the way of the world. Magazines are filled with 15-year-old models, there are many age-defying potions and anti-ageing creams everywhere being advertised in your face every minute of every day. Of course love can be blind and you may find someone who loves you for other reasons and yes medical technologies are improving even grandmothers can have children, but is it the way it should be? Depending on one’s personal reasons they can get married at any age but marrying young is ideal for many reasons, just to list a few:

  • To build a family the younger the woman the more likely she bares healthy offspring with little or no abnormalities (the possibility of child born with Down’s Syndrome increases as mother-to-be approaches her 40’s).
  • Having children before the age of 30 reduces the risk of developing breast cancer (this sucks! no pun intended).
  • At about age 35 mother-to-be is considered high risk for miscarriage, eclampsia, stillbirth, death of both herself and baby (I did not want to mention this but let’s face it).
  • If marriage fails there is still time and energy to pursue another one (lessons well learned).
  • You get better mortgage rates.
  • You get better insurance benefits especially if you are healthy.
  • You stand a greater chance of actually spending a lot of time with your grandchildren.

I’m sure we can think of more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally against Child Marriages. No one should ever get married that young and being a grandmother at 22 is not cute. However, I believe marrying between the ages 24-33 ,at least, is young enough. In this age range more than likely one has a degree, a job, is better at managing finances, have goals and some sort of ambition. I have quite a number of my high school mates who have married before 30 and more have had children before this age too (yes they are educated, are employed and own their own businesses).

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Oh… That Gap

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Wow! it’s been a while, a long while since I wrote something here. So let’s get to it.

Now, I’m not talking about the gap between the teeth, rather, the age gap…when the woman is older than her lover/partner/baby daddy/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.

Yes folks it’s 2015 and we’re still hung up on this. If he’s 18 years or older I see no reason why an older woman can’t hit that. I’m just saying. The poor lady is called a “cradle-robber”, cougar or puma depending on the width of the age gap. Hahaha so silly. However, men are still men even when they date girls old enough to be their great granddaughters. Any who…

You know we women are more liberated than ever before so we’re not all negatively affected by the opinions of others. Some older women’s defense is ” ol’ man juice scratch” (sex with older men is not all that) – yes I am being mild with that translation – which leads me to think of some benefits of being an older woman with a boy toy:

  1. Erectile dysfunction is so far from anyone’s mind –wink wink-
  2. Rounds 2 and 3 are just a few minutes away.
  3. He keeps her feeling youthful.
  4. His fitness (if I were to go on with this point I would have to change the topic)

Well peeps, live and let love. The older woman and the younger man is just another couple of consenting adults.

 

TO EACH HIS or HER OWN…SADIST or MASOCHIST

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TO EACH HIS or HER OWN…SADIST or MASOCHIST.

Condemn one, condemn all

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Hi there. I haven’t made an entry in months. So why did I decide to pop up today? There were two major protests by the Christian Church against homosexuals in Jamaica, this past weekend. It was about two weeks ago a co-worker of mine was asking everyone to sign a petition to fight against the removal of the buggery laws…I refused. No, I’m not gay but I just simply do not have anything against anyone’s sexual preference…well when it comes to babies, minors, rape, then I want some jungle justice to save taxpayers’ money on the scum of society. Woosaaaah. Ok back to the topic.

“We are against it, for God is against it, so it cannot be right,” said Allen Harris, who sat on his bicycle praying. http://m.jamaicaobserver.com/mobile/news/Christians-protest-Court-challenge-to-buggery-law

So having read this article (see link above) and analysing the views of what people think about homosexuality, why should buggery be singled out from the Bible when there are other sins being committed? Fornication, adultery, lying, stealing, murdering, and God knows the list goes on, are not right and according to the Christian Bible (no matter the version or language), God is against them all too.

“Ye without sin, cast the first stone, ” was what Jesus said in the Bible. I can bet that the same persons condemning homosexuality are guilty of things that a sinner like myself just may not be able to stomach. What upsets me most is that murderers, child molesters and rapists are not being condemned at this level. Duppy really know who fi frighten.

Until fornicators and adulteres are stoned to death, thieves get their hands cut off, rapists made geldings…I say leave homosexuals alone.

What if it were you?…and other questions about Rape.

It is known all over the world that in the African Continent children are being raped everyday because of some superstitious belief that having sex with a virgin cures HIV/AIDS.

QUESTION#1 : WHAT ARE WE AS HUMAN BEINGS DOING TO EDUCATE THEM ABOUT HIV/AIDS AND TO PROTECT THE YOUNG?

 

For centuries women have been raped for some sort of reason concerning power, whether personal, political, tribal, or it’s used as a weapon in war.

QUESTION#2 : WHEN ARE WE GOING STOP BEING GREEDY, SELFISH AND BARBARIC? EVEN WILD ANIMALS HAVE CODES OF CONDUCT AND OBEY THEM.

 

U.S. political figure Todd Akin said that if a woman doesn’t get pregnant then it’s “legitimate rape” and if she does then it isn’t because if she didn’t want the sex then her body would have prevented the pregnancy.

QUESTIONS#3, 4, 5 & 6: WHAT THE FUCK? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS ASSHOLE? WHAT IF IT WERE HIS FEMALE RELATIVE WHO GOT PREGNANT FROM RAPE? IS IT THAT ONLY MEN CAN BE “LEGITIMATELY” RAPED?

80% of sex offenders are likely to repeat their sex crimes.

QUESTIONS#7, 8 & 9: HUH? WHY ARE THEY BEING TREATED IF THEY CAN’T BE CURED? WHY ARE THEY CONSTANTLY BEING RELEASED BACK INTO SOCIETY TO DO MORE HARM?

Earlier this year, in Texas, a father beats a man to death because he caught him molesting his son.

QUESTION#10: WOULDN’T YOU HAVE DONE THE SAME?

Under Islamic law, rape can only be proven if the rapist confesses or if there are four male witnesses.  Women who allege rape, without the benefit of the act having been witnessed by four men who subsequently develop a conscience, are actually confessing to having sex.  If they or the accused happens to be married, then it is considered to be adultery…Since it is incredibly unlikely that a child molester will violate his victim in front of “four trustworthy men”, Islamic law amounts to a free pass for sexual predators…Islamic law rejects forensic evidence (such as DNA) in favor of testimony.  An interesting situation thus sometimes develops in cases where a victim alleges rape and the man denies that sex even took place.  In the absence of four male witnesses, rape cannot be proven.  The woman’s testimony then becomes a “confession” of adultery.  She can be stoned, even though the male is unpunished, since he never “confessed” to a sexual act!

– Courtesy of thereligionof peace.com Guide to Understanding Islam

QUESTIONS#12, 13 & 14: WHAT DID I JUST READ? DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE VICTIMS? DOES IT MAKE SENSE ARGUE THIS ONE?

Give me your feed back.

QUESTION#15: WHAT WOULD YOU DO OR HAVE DONE IN ANY OF THESE OR ANY OTHER CASES?

And What About The Right To Die?

By now some of you readers are made aware of Tony Nicklinson’s story: former rugby player, paralysed from the neck down, had his legal plea of assisted suicide denied, died due to starving himself and pneumonia (I think he did it intentionally). His last tweet:

‘Goodbye world the time has come, I had some fun.’

I’m totally against unnecessary suffering only when it comes to the physical, id est, terminal illnesses, complete paralysis, etc. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to live then fine but what about living and not being able to add quality to your life or the life of others? What if your existence is a burden to your loved one? At this point I would like to make myself clear: I do not support suicide killings/bombings, homicide-suicide, suicide due to depression and/or bullying, I’m totally against violence on any level. I support assisted suicide for the critically ill, brain dead or anything to that effect.

If I had a condition which is all about physical pain, constant trips to the doctor, making me dependent on others, I can’t do anything for myself, and it would kill me eventually but years from now (or I die naturally), feeling hopeless, depressed and useless, I would opt for a quick and pain-free death. Call me a coward but the joy in that kind of life is pretty much non-existent and for me, that’s not the way I want to live.

In the photograph above, Tony Nicklinson with his wife, Jane, when the judge denied his assisted suicide plea. Does this man looks happy to continue living like that? He can’t even wipe his own tears. To continue living life in paralysis is a death sentence for him. He’s not getting any younger, he’s probably concerned about his wife’s happiness…I could list a million reasons.

We all know a doctor’s job, decree and only function is to preserve life so this goes against many doctors’ belief, religiously speaking killing someone even your own self is a sin (the killer’s soul be damned for all eternity). However, ‘mercy killing’, ‘assisted suicide’ or euthanasia is not a ‘bad thing’ in all cultures. The English word ‘Euthanasia’ is derived from Greek words “eu” and “thanatos,” literally, “dying well.” Euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg and Assisted Suicide is legal in Switzerland and the US states of Montana, Washington and Oregon. Active Euthanasia is illegal in Mexico but not Passive Euthanasia (patient is terminally ill and unconscious can be refuse aid to prolong life by relatives). Colombia’s Constitutional Court ruled May 20, 2010 that “no person can be held criminally responsible for taking the life of a terminally ill patient who has given clear authorization to do so.” In Japan it’s a bit more complicated:

In the case of passive euthanasia, three conditions must be met:

  1. the patient must be suffering from an incurable disease, and in the final stages of the disease from which he/she is unlikely to make a recovery;
  2. the patient must give express consent to stopping treatment, and this consent must be obtained and preserved prior to death. If the patient is not able to give clear consent, their consent may be determined from a pre-written document such as a living will or the testimony of the family;
  3. the patient may be passively euthanized by stopping medical treatment, chemotherapy, dialysis, artificial respiration, blood transfusion, IV drip, etc.

For active euthanasia, four conditions must be met:

  1. the patient must be suffering from unbearable physical pain;
  2. death must be inevitable and drawing near;
  3. the patient must give consent. (Unlike passive euthanasia, living wills and family consent will not suffice.)
  4. the physician must have (ineffectively) exhausted all other measures of pain relief.

                                                                                                          -Legality of Euthanasia Wikipedia.com

Whew! It’s not easy to decide on how and when to kill a person even if he/she is on death row and deserves it. I appreciate the concern and thought put into taking someone’s life especially if they are at a loss in physical health. But I believe that if a person, like Tony, who has reached that point where death is a more favourable option and chooses to do it legally in his/her sound mind, should not be denied the Right to Die.

TO EACH HIS or HER OWN…SADIST or MASOCHIST

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.” S&M by Rihanna   

Yes, I’m going there.

How can pain be pleasurable, whether receiving and/or giving it? Who likes being tied up and unable to actively participate in coitus? The thought of being gagged and bound can only be a horrifying experience or is it?

Sadomasochism (S&M) is the receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation” – courtesy of wikipedia.com

I must confess, after reading the 50 SHADES Trilogy written by E.L. James, my interest has been ignited by this road less travelled. Also, I was of the belief that those who enjoy this type of kink in their sexual activities are usually having some kind of psychological issues. I was wrong.

Adding a little spice to the bedroom can improve certain aspects of a couple’s relationship, even if it is some kinky spice. What impresses me most is that S&M has rules, roles, it’s pretty much organised with great consideration for the safety of its participants (however there are some real psychos out there but I’m not venturing into the dark side of it). Generally speaking:

  • There is a Dominant (Master or Mistress), the one who does the tying up, whipping, etc.
  • There is a Submissive, the one who receives whatever their dominant imparts.
  • Safe words are used by the submissive to let the dominant knows if he/she cannot bear anymore and just wants to stop.
  • The submissive actually runs the show because they determine what activities they want and at what level of intensity.

Who am I to judge?  If it’s between two consenting adults then nothing is wrong with it. I see it as another form of Role Playing, instead of the usual Nurse and Patient, we have the Owner and the Property (I really wanted to say Kidnapper and Hostage but I don’t want to turn you off *chuckling*).

Are you MAN enough?

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 You must be dreaming, how gal fi have bad man a do house cleaning…not on my team. – Popular dancehall song by Mavado.

It is of the belief that men who engage in “female” dominated activites, are considered emasculated, effeminate, gay, p*ssy-whipped or just a push-over. Whoa! Before you jump down on me, this is still an issue this day and age, and yes, in the Western World. Dear reader, you must know at least one man, no, make that three men who believe that if they do housework and raise the children, that they will be seen as less of a man. However, there are those who do so quietly but in front of there male peers they are “manly” men, also, there are those who do not have this problem and speak proudly of doing what’s necessary to keep their household running.

So let’s analyse a few of these “female” dominated activities, in no order of importance of course:

The Laundry – especially handwashing it, because that is done outside and neighbours can see. To add more drama to it: the washing of women’s undies. God forbid but some men will have a stroke if they ever do this, then hang them out to dry and pick them up off the line outside. Mind you they have no problem removing it with their teeth during intimate moments. Also, these are the same men who believe women MUST wash their undies but do not return the favour even if she is sick or impaired in some way.

The Cooking – I don’t want to get started on this, however I believe men are much better at this. Imagine after a long day of work, this man reaches home long before you do and sits there waiting for you to come home to make dinner? Yes reader such men exist. I have a male friend (he knows himself), he lives with his mom, he’s unemployed so he’s home and will starve the whole day until his mom returns home and cook him dinner (so her fault for raising him like that, sad).The House Cleaning – Some men will dismantle and build up back their cars, clean them inside out, travel to the Amazon jungle and back on foot before they stay home and help with the cleaning. Wake up! It’s 2012 not 1512.

The Diaper Change – You know what gets me dark about this, they will say it’s the woman’s responsibilty because she gave birth to the child. I guess we were are like Jesus being immaculately conceived. Be a dad and help mom. Lawks man! Diaper change is not nice especially if you’re dealing with ‘solid waste management’ but share some of the burden.

The Combing of Your Child’s Hair – This one is a special and hard case when it comes to daughters, but I’m pressing on with it because there are Jamaican men who comb their daughters hair for school and they get all my respect. In a wider view, the best hairstylist in the world are men! So men do not require any changes in their anatomy to do such a task. On the other hand, I can’t too pressure the men for this but it’s pretty much breaking the rules and bending boundaries.

I think I’ll stop here. So, to the men out there, do you still think you are man enough to do some of these things and more? Take the poll.