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What if it were you?…and other questions about Rape.

It is known all over the world that in the African Continent children are being raped everyday because of some superstitious belief that having sex with a virgin cures HIV/AIDS.

QUESTION#1 : WHAT ARE WE AS HUMAN BEINGS DOING TO EDUCATE THEM ABOUT HIV/AIDS AND TO PROTECT THE YOUNG?

 

For centuries women have been raped for some sort of reason concerning power, whether personal, political, tribal, or it’s used as a weapon in war.

QUESTION#2 : WHEN ARE WE GOING STOP BEING GREEDY, SELFISH AND BARBARIC? EVEN WILD ANIMALS HAVE CODES OF CONDUCT AND OBEY THEM.

 

U.S. political figure Todd Akin said that if a woman doesn’t get pregnant then it’s “legitimate rape” and if she does then it isn’t because if she didn’t want the sex then her body would have prevented the pregnancy.

QUESTIONS#3, 4, 5 & 6: WHAT THE FUCK? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS ASSHOLE? WHAT IF IT WERE HIS FEMALE RELATIVE WHO GOT PREGNANT FROM RAPE? IS IT THAT ONLY MEN CAN BE “LEGITIMATELY” RAPED?

80% of sex offenders are likely to repeat their sex crimes.

QUESTIONS#7, 8 & 9: HUH? WHY ARE THEY BEING TREATED IF THEY CAN’T BE CURED? WHY ARE THEY CONSTANTLY BEING RELEASED BACK INTO SOCIETY TO DO MORE HARM?

Earlier this year, in Texas, a father beats a man to death because he caught him molesting his son.

QUESTION#10: WOULDN’T YOU HAVE DONE THE SAME?

Under Islamic law, rape can only be proven if the rapist confesses or if there are four male witnesses.  Women who allege rape, without the benefit of the act having been witnessed by four men who subsequently develop a conscience, are actually confessing to having sex.  If they or the accused happens to be married, then it is considered to be adultery…Since it is incredibly unlikely that a child molester will violate his victim in front of “four trustworthy men”, Islamic law amounts to a free pass for sexual predators…Islamic law rejects forensic evidence (such as DNA) in favor of testimony.  An interesting situation thus sometimes develops in cases where a victim alleges rape and the man denies that sex even took place.  In the absence of four male witnesses, rape cannot be proven.  The woman’s testimony then becomes a “confession” of adultery.  She can be stoned, even though the male is unpunished, since he never “confessed” to a sexual act!

– Courtesy of thereligionof peace.com Guide to Understanding Islam

QUESTIONS#12, 13 & 14: WHAT DID I JUST READ? DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE VICTIMS? DOES IT MAKE SENSE ARGUE THIS ONE?

Give me your feed back.

QUESTION#15: WHAT WOULD YOU DO OR HAVE DONE IN ANY OF THESE OR ANY OTHER CASES?

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TO EACH HIS or HER OWN…SADIST or MASOCHIST

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.” S&M by Rihanna   

Yes, I’m going there.

How can pain be pleasurable, whether receiving and/or giving it? Who likes being tied up and unable to actively participate in coitus? The thought of being gagged and bound can only be a horrifying experience or is it?

Sadomasochism (S&M) is the receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation” – courtesy of wikipedia.com

I must confess, after reading the 50 SHADES Trilogy written by E.L. James, my interest has been ignited by this road less travelled. Also, I was of the belief that those who enjoy this type of kink in their sexual activities are usually having some kind of psychological issues. I was wrong.

Adding a little spice to the bedroom can improve certain aspects of a couple’s relationship, even if it is some kinky spice. What impresses me most is that S&M has rules, roles, it’s pretty much organised with great consideration for the safety of its participants (however there are some real psychos out there but I’m not venturing into the dark side of it). Generally speaking:

  • There is a Dominant (Master or Mistress), the one who does the tying up, whipping, etc.
  • There is a Submissive, the one who receives whatever their dominant imparts.
  • Safe words are used by the submissive to let the dominant knows if he/she cannot bear anymore and just wants to stop.
  • The submissive actually runs the show because they determine what activities they want and at what level of intensity.

Who am I to judge?  If it’s between two consenting adults then nothing is wrong with it. I see it as another form of Role Playing, instead of the usual Nurse and Patient, we have the Owner and the Property (I really wanted to say Kidnapper and Hostage but I don’t want to turn you off *chuckling*).

This so called ‘Oldest Profession’

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This so called ‘Oldest Profession’

Seriously now what is the world’s beef with Prostitution? If it’s the oldest profession, dating back hundreds of years, then why is it still taboo. Not even Jesus condemn it:

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. – John 8:7 (Christian Bible)

Ok, let me slow down a bit. Ahem! Let’s look at this from a logical point of view. Many women, now more than ever due to the economic crisis, do not want to date, to be engaged or marry to a man that doesn’t have the potential to provide some sort of financial security. Now ladies be honest with yourself, do you want to be with cheapskate, broke-ass or poor man? HELL NO!!! So what’s wrong with prostitution if you are doing it too? So double standard, or should I say hypocritical.

First we need to understand the different types of Prostitutes:

  1. Escorts/Call Girls – These are expensive, exclusively for those who can afford it, they will perform almost any and everything , both conceivable and inconceivable sexual acts. They do regular HIV/STI check-ups, they will not try to destroy their clients relationships and reputations. They are very professional. They are not easily identified by the common folk.
  2. Golddiggers – They look good, love money, are affordable are easily identified (they will only associate with and hop from one to the next the rich person or celebrity openly). Their sexual skills are not required to be high. No one knows if they are disease/infection free. They might get pregnant to get a hold of their target’s money.
  3. Street Prostitutes/Ladies of the Night – They are on the street, are very affordable, they may be as highly skilled as Escorts however their status is pretty much unknown. They work harder and longer than the first two types.

Good now that we have some more clarity, let’s continue. What a woman does with her body is none of my business. I do not condemn anyone who exchanges sex for money (or vice versa). I see prostitution like any other job: you get paid for your time and skills. These women, from all three categories, definitely have to eat, wear clothes, pay bills and take care of their dependents like anyone else. Who am I to judge when I do not know what forced them to chose that path?

One thing is for certain,  prostitutes can help keep marriages intact as long as the partner does not find out, if not you’ll be like Tiger Woods.

Marrying Young

 

No doubt this topic is touchy. The view of a young girl marrying to some ‘big ole oily grey back man’ is seen as carnal abuse, rape, violation of human rights, child rights, and the list goes on. So let’s dig a little deeper. According to Wikipedia, there is some form of justification of such an arrangement which might help you the reader to better understand or simply get you more upset:

Child marriage and child betrothal customs occur in various times and places, whereby children are given in matrimony – before marriageable age as defined by the commentator and often before puberty. Today such customs are fairly widespread in parts of Africa, Asia, Oceania and South America: in former times it occurred also in Europe. It is frequently associated with arranged marriage. In some cases only one marriage-partner is a child, usually the female, due to importance placed upon female virginity, the inability of women to work for money and to women’s shorter reproductive life period relative to men’s.

Yes, unfortunately that ‘ole’ perve can still reproduce. Great. Well this explains why a lot of women freak out when they reach the thirty year mark and are viewed as old. Also, may I just add that it is getting harder and harder to find a sixteen year old virgin these days. Okay, before you attack me for agreeing with these customs let’s take a look at the things we celebrate: Sweet Sixteen, once upon a time it marked a young girl’s coming of age and used to advertise that the daughter was ready to be married (uh huh now you know); in latin american countries they celebrate Quinceañera (their version of sweet sixteen but at the age of fifteen); in Jewish culture a boy comes of age at thirteen (Bar Mitzvah) and girls come of age at twelve (Bat Mitzvah); in Italy and Poland they celebrate the eighteenth birthday. Although . We can agree that not even at 18 years no one is ready for marriage, worse at 12 and 13. What about children being married off as young as 5 or before they were born? I read an article featured in the June 2011 National Geographic called The Secret World of Child Brides (page 78). It featured traditional customs – some illegal but still practised in secret – in India (yup you gonna stop hating me now). Now this is where I draw the line because these poor babies have no clue when the ceremonies are being performed and they grow up hating their ‘oily grey back’ husbands and are miserable.

Thanks to a changing world these practises are being eliminated. That’s good for the children, they can enjoy their childhood, get an education and make their own choices but what happens when you wait too long? There are some women who have been successful in their careers, accomplished all they could without the burden of maintaining a family and answering to a husband, realised in their 40’s they want to get married and have children. What now? As the above excerpt said, a woman’s reproductive life is shorter than that of a man. Besides who wants to marry an old woman? I’m not crude but that is the way of the world. Magazines are filled with 15-year-old models, there are many age-defying potions and anti-ageing creams everywhere being advertised in your face every minute of every day. Of course love can be blind and you may find someone who loves you for other reasons and yes medical technologies are improving even grandmothers can have children, but is it the way it should be? Depending on one’s personal reasons they can get married at any age but marrying young is ideal for many reasons, just to list a few:

  • To build a family the younger the woman the more likely she bares healthy offspring with little or no abnormalities (the possibility of child born with Down’s Syndrome increases as mother-to-be approaches her 40’s).
  • Having children before the age of 30 reduces the risk of developing breast cancer (this sucks! no pun intended).
  • At about age 35 mother-to-be is considered high risk for miscarriage, eclampsia, stillbirth, death of both herself and baby (I did not want to mention this but let’s face it).
  • If marriage fails there is still time and energy to pursue another one (lessons well learned).
  • You get better mortgage rates.
  • You get better insurance benefits especially if you are healthy.
  • You stand a greater chance of actually spending a lot of time with your grandchildren.

I’m sure we can think of more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally against Child Marriages. No one should ever get married that young and being a grandmother at 22 is not cute. However, I believe marrying between the ages 24-33 ,at least, is young enough. In this age range more than likely one has a degree, a job, is better at managing finances, have goals and some sort of ambition. I have quite a number of my high school mates who have married before 30 and more have had children before this age too (yes they are educated, are employed and own their own businesses).

Scarlet Letter ‘M’: Rules of the Game

Here in Jamaica all social characters have nicknames or street names, or become such nicknames, for example, “Babylon” means Police (the general view of the police is not positive at all); “Nanny” refers to the Jamaican $500 note because an illustration of our only National Heroine, Nanny of the Maroons, is on it. Therefore the roles we play in our lives are no different. When a man and a woman are married to each other, they are called Husband and Wife, which we now refer to as “Hussy” and “Wifey”. We know the institution of marriage (or any long term relationship) has been plagued by outsiders for centuries. These outsiders are called “homewreckers”, be it man or woman, however it’s the woman that is more reknown for this role. So, if you cheat on your loved one then you are giving “bun”. During these last two decades, give or take a few years, a homewrecker in Jamaica is called “matey” (or “bunner (wo)man”: a term recently popularised by famous local talk show host).

Despite being frowned upon for many years, most women still choose to be a matey because she receives almost all wifey priveleges, but most importantly because she is not the one being hurt and deceived. In addition, there is a paradigm shift in the concept of matey in our local dancehall music. In the 90’s the matey was put down and condemned but now is revered, praised and seen as a necessity (whether to improve a marriage or for his or her own personal gain). There are some celebrities who are “mateys” and came out the winners (Angelina Jolie, Alicia Keys), while others fell flat on their faces (Fantasia). The success of the matey depends on a lot of rules or guidelines that will almost guarantee a long term relationship with a spouse. I will list some below but not in any order of importance:

  1. Be invisible to the wifey/hussy, their family and friends.
  2. Do not expect to become the wife or husband.
  3. Take what you can get and leave.
  4. Do not confront the wife/ hussy in any way.
  5. Do not fall in love (in otherwords don’t be a Marilyn Monroe).
  6. Keep calls, appointments, texts, emails within a respectable time schedule to avoid suspicion.
  7. Never say anything bad about the wifey/hussy.
  8. If you have been identified as the matey, then it’s time to move on, it will only get uglier.
  9. If you are seriously looking for a permanent stream of income by all means have a love child (case in point: Schwarzenegger).

Knowing the risks of being a matey, would you still want to be one? Why or why not? Also, please feel free to discuss the rules by adding your own rules or discussing any of the points mentioned.